Lately I have really been pondering the saying ‘nice breeds nice’. If one puts positive vibes out into the universe, has good intentions, and seeks kindness to others, then love and compassion from others is what you will receive in return?
In a dream world maybe, but unfortunately this statement is far from the truth for many. The more I explore and look for people who embody such selfless traits, the more I realize how there are very few who exhibit the authentic behavior on a regular basis. We can all put on a smile and happy face but I wonder frequently the depth of people’s sincerity….
The more I meet and mingle with people from all different social circles, cliques, cultures, ethnicities, the more I realize how if you want respect, then you must be pretty dominant and demand it.
Sadly, this is not what I want. I want respect, but I most certainly do not want to demand anything….Though we are all just trying to find our ways in this cruel world, is it possible for us to put aside the ego and truly embrace the genuine good in humanity?
Love everyone, Trust no one.
Getting ready to embark on backpacking adventure through
South East Asia, I’m starting to mentally and physically prepare myself for the exploration that is to come. Meeting and discussing with others about lifestyle that awaits, I am constantly reminded to be on my toes at all times. Half of the problems with traveling among people from all over the world are not just the locals in the town whom prey on tourists, but the tourists themselves who ravage each other. Peers against peers, many put on a front of wanting to better themselves, however wreak havoc wherever they go stealing everything the second a back is turned. What just boggles my mind is the more I think about it, the more common this seems to be in all areas if life. Though it seems to be less obvious, we are all doing this to eachother every single day whether we see it or just choose to ignore it. People seem so entitled to act superior in whatever they do and wheverver they go. Its as if everyones intentions are all on the surface to uphold this image, but in reality nobody actually gives a sh*t about anyone except themselves.
To avoid being a doormat, we all have to learn how to protect ourselves mentally, physically, and emotionally so not to get walked on and to ensure that we are free from the possibility of getting hurt. A battlefield for sure, I sometimes cringe in the idea that every man is an island that needs to fend for his self.
Having been vulnerable in the past, I was taken advantage of from trying to see the good in others. During a particular phase when living abroad in Central America I was spending everyday with two Americans from
Miami whom I most certainly thought were my friends. Always the discussion of locals being a concern I completely underestimated the potential harm U.S. “friends” could do.
Ironically enough I was stripped of close to $1000 from my own country men when they slipped my credit cards into their wallets while I was showering, and they spent my hard earned $3 dollars an hour salary around town care free with what seemed to be no regret. I opened my home, kitchen, bed, friendship, and heart to these people and then together they stripped me not only my money, but of hope I had at the time in the goodness of others.
Not even a month after this incident, I actually did end up getting robbed from the locals of the community I was living in after all. Breaking into my house while I was sleeping, these four convicts stole all my worldly possessions that I had at the time (computer, iPod, iPod player, camera, jewelry, cash...) Hmmm….Bad breeds Bad???
Karma or not, who knows… but after these 2 events occurred it became easier to adapt to the mentality of screw others, trust no one. I created this “excuse” that it was ok to be selfish because if you are not then people will take advantage of you. No one wants to be a pushover or a doormat.
Maybe I
was way too trustful and naïve in wanting to see good in others, but after that happened no one was worth my time or energy because I honestly thought no one really cared about anyone but themselves.
So I myself soon adapted a more superficial approach to life and living. It became easier to ignore others’ feelings. Having the focus on me, the consequences of my actions were irrelevant and I did only what I wanted, not caring for the response or reactions from others. I did this for my benefit, and for no other reason. Like a drug, I was addicted to being selfish and associating myself with very materialistic items and a way of life that felt good. But like any over indulgence, too much of a good thing can make you sick, and similar to an addiction to a drug, the high was temporary. I have found in my own experiences, that it is so easy to get caught up in our own self satisfaction, that we can easily forget what humility and humbleness feels like. Not liking the person I was becoming even when I was getting everything I wanted, I knew that it was time to take a step or ten back. Getting what we think we want, is not always necessarily what will really make us happy. There is no way in hell that happiness can come from greed and materialistic items. Temporary happiness: Sure. But what happens when those items are robbed, broken or destroyed right under our noses?
Just catching the bus home the other night, I was approached by an older woman who obviously had some mental disability, asking me for a dollar to spare. Lying through my teeth, with a pocket full of one dollar coins, I said I had nothing. I initially thought to myself if I gave everyone who asked me for a dollar in this city, I would have no dollars for myself!!! But after I denied this old woman my money, I thought of an old friend whom I spent a lot of time with who taught me some pretty amazing lessons in life solely through his behavior and how he associated with others. A hard worker, who made pennies compared to the average Joe, he would go out of his way and help those who were less fortunate then himself everyday. Sharing leftover food, spare change from his pocket, verbal comfort and support, he would always just smile and shrug after helping people from all walks of life. Never discussing the reason for his actions, it was obvious the love he shared was of genuine humble interest to spread goodness and it radiated from his soul during his good deeds.
All the situations we are faced with on a regular basis, if all of us are ignoring these saddest of circumstance right in front of our noses, are any of us doing anything to change and reach out in other ways??
If we can’t even confront what is directly in front of us, what about on a larger scale? Though we consciously seem to be aware for a second, and pretend to "really care" but are any of us really doing anything to contribute to better ourselves and ultiamtely better our society?
Considering we all experience the hardships of life, it is sooo easy to get caught up in our own sob stories and self interest that we forget about reaching out and caring with a unassuming nature to others. This ego has become such a large part of our identities that we tend to cling and define ourselves through this image of self worth and superficial things. We make these excuses to ourselves and to others for reasons why we behave and treat others the way we do.
Just reflecting on my time in Central America on how upset and angry I got when everything was taken from me shows how greed can overpower us without even realizing. It literally took two extreme cases such as this to really open my eyes of how much power it had over my own life.
Like a swaying pendulum, from one extreme to another I am yearning once again to seek and find goodness in myself and others.
I am also seeking to find value in less superficial things that we seem as a society to put so much value into.
My intention is to truly make an effort to simplify my life and to lose the judgment that I carry of myself and of others. I want open my heart and mind, and embrace love and energy to keep this intention close to manifest positive change in life.
There really is so much beauty in this world, and if we can all make small changes every day to add value and purpose to our actions instead of greed I think that we can open our hearts more to trust and see the good in others as well as ourselves.
As some of the greats (Mother Teresa, Dalai Lama, Princess Diana, Martin Luther King Jr. etc.) have demonstrated, this IS possible. Though it is not something that is achieved overnight, we all have the humanity.
Similar to a lit candle in a dark room, we all have the ability to emit light to the darkness of bad situations. All it really takes is a tweak in our consciousness and awareness to extend out to make the right decisions.
I want to believe again that nice does breed nice, that positive and genuine actions do make change for a better world. That well, all of us deep down do really care about others even if our actions say otherwise. If we can learn to lose the ego, and just let go, I can only imagine the possibilities...
Frida.
y from class work. The other day I was actually discussing with my housemate about the Paradox of our Age written by the Dalia Lama,and at the festival today my housemate bought me the script. so sweet. its one of my favorites. I don't think I have ever read a statement that was so clear. and so. spot on. 
